This week: Health is the New Luxury
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☕Today’s newsletter includes:
- What happened in luxury this week (March 2026)
- $1.2 billion for TORTILLAS? Here’s why.
- This gym charges $8,400/year. It has a waitlist.
- The $599 iPhone that’s actually worth it
- OpenAI just raised $110 billion (yes, billion with a B)
- Ozempic, Google and and Louis vuitton
Let’s get into it:
EQUINOX IN THE SPOTLIGHT:
Let’s talk about what’s actually happening at gym memberships globally because it’s equal parts inspiring and absolutely WILD.
Luxury gym chains are not calling themselves gyms but clubs. Because calling it a gym would be like calling a Birkin a “purse”.. right ladies?
Equinox is the most globally known gym brand. The breakdown as an example for all other gyms:
-Regular Equinox: $200-300/month
What you get: A gym that smells like eucalyptus instead of sweat, towels you don’t have to bring from home, and the constant anxiety that everyone around you has a better butt and abs
-Equinox+: $400-500/month
What you get: Access to multiple locations, which is crucial for when you want to avoid your ex at the Upper East Side location and flee to Tribeca.
-E by Equinox: $500-700/month
What you get: Smaller classes, fancier locker rooms, and the ability to tell people “I go to E” like it means something. (It does. It means you’re rich or work on Wall Street so eligible.)
-Equinox Hotels: $700-1,000+/night
What you get: A hotel room with a Peloton in it and a minibar stocked with adaptogenic mushroom coffee. Also, existential questions about why you’re paying $1,000 to sleep near a gym.
This week, the Equinox chairman came in the spotlight for publicly stating: “Health is the new luxury”
He said 2025 was a “record year” and 2026 is expected “to be even bigger”… for a company charging thousands to burn off the panettone we ate between Christmas and New Year’s.. Yep.
Regardless, we respect Equinox for convincing people that a stairmaster with better lighting is worth the price of two nights in Gstaad, and we hope they’re celebrating with Chocolate Peanut Butter protein shakes that cost $45.
Rich girl starter pack in 2026:
- Lululemon Align leggings ($128)
- Alo Yoga sports bra ($68)
- Stanley water bottle you’ll lose in 3 weeks ($45)
- AirPods Max ($549)
- Monthly membership ($300)
- Therapist to discuss your self-worth through fitness ($250/session)
WHAT these GIRLS ARE ACTUALLY DOING:
10% – Actual exercise
20% – Taking mirror selfies in the bathroom
30% – Sitting in the steam room contemplating life choices
25% – Drinking $12 cold-pressed juice at the café
15% – Networking with other rich females who also pretend to work out
THE CHAIRMAN WASN’T KIDDING: HEALTH IS THE NEW LUXURY.
LOUIS VUITTON ENTERS THE HOTEL GAME:
The Louis Vuitton Hotel is set to become one of the most high-profile luxury hospitality openings of 2026, marking the fashion house’s most ambitious move into experiential travel.
Located on the Champs-Élysées, the ultra-luxury hotel is expected to express the brand’s classic design.
Suites are likely to feature custom-made detailing, and references to Louis Vuitton’s iconic trunks, materials, and travel heritage. There will be art installations, private salons, and refined dining concepts.
This isn’t just a hotel with a designer logo slapped on it: Rather than following classic Parisian palace hotels, it is a space where fashion, architecture, and hospitality all come together.
Will we be able to afford it? Probably not. Will the minibar have a trunk-shaped fridge? Absolutely. Are we already looking at flights? Obviously.
PEPSI JUST SPENT $1.2 BILLION ON TORTILLAS
PepsiCo’s $1.2 billion acquisition of Siete Foods recently reflects a strategic shift to capture market share in “healthy-for-you” segments.
The brand’s grain-free tortillas and other products have become globally known for their reduced salt, sugar, and saturated fat.
This move allows larger companies to tap into fast-growing niches without making the product themselves.
Here’s why this matters:
-The global healthy snacks market advanced from $34.11 billion in 2025 to $36 billion in 2026
-Projected to reach $51 billion by 2032
-The world’s obsession with “clean” ingredients is now a multi-billion dollar industry; Hershey also acquired organic salty snack brand “Lesser Evil” for the same reason.
-Meanwhile, Mars completed its $36 billion acquisition of Kellanova– formerly Kellogg’s international snacks business- responding to demand for healthier, higher-value food options
The era of “it’s just a snack” is over. Now it’s “what does this do for my microbiome?”
GLP-1 DRUGS ARE IT
About 1 in 5 US adults have used GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic or Wegovy and these medications are expanding into treatment for other chronic diseases such as heart health, kidney disease, and addiction.
But here’s the business reality:
-Most companies will no longer cover GLP-1 drugs for weight loss for employers with fewer than 100 employees
-Harvard’s Health Care plans to end coverage for most commercial plans starting next year
-What this means: Brands must prepare for reduced consumption among some consumers while maintaining relevance for those without access.
-The people still eating? They want protein, fiber, and functionality. Everyone else is recalibrating.
SUMMER FRIDAYS GOES FULL FRAGRANCE
Summer Fridays– the brand behind that Lip Butter Balm everyone’s been obsessed with since 2020- just launched Sunlit Vanilla Eau de Parfum, its first fine fragrance.
The scent?
Vanilla ice cream topped with caramel as the sun sets on a summer day-bergamot for brightness, coconut for sweetness, creamy vanilla musk for the base…. hmm YUM.
Here’s why this matters:
With double-digit growth in 2025, the brand’s category expansion comes as the lip balm has seen a ton of new competition.. enter Rhode and RMS Beauty.
Long story short: They listened to their customers (wild concept in 2026) and made a fragrance based on what people actually wanted.
Summer Fridays is positioning the scent as accessible for everyone from millennials to young shoppers ready to graduate from body sprays.
Price point hasn’t been announced yet, but if it follows their skincare pricing, expect something reasonable. For a brand that built its empire on a lip balm, entering fragrance is bold. Smart, but bold.
Google’s Largest Acquisition
Google just spent $32 billion on a cloud security company called “Wiz”-the largest acquisition in Google’s history.
Someone finally convinced Larry Page that cybersecurity matters more than moonshots.
Regardless, we respect Wiz for building a company worth more than some countries’ defense budgets in just a few years, and we hope they’re celebrating with encrypted bubbly tonight.
AI:
OpenAI’s board member just had to explain a $110 billion funding round at a $840 billion valuation.. making OpenAI worth more than most countries’ GDP.
Amazon writing a $50 billion check while the rest of us are debating if we should pay for ChatGPT plus ????
Regardless, we respect Sam Altman for building a company that convinced tech giants to throw money at what’s essentially a chatbot that hallucinates occasionally, and we hope they’re celebrating with AI-generated cupcakes.
QUICK HITS
→ The Lake Como EDITION opens this month with 148 rooms in a 19th-century palazzo featuring the first Italian restaurants from celebrated chef “Mauro Colagreco” and a picturesque pool literally floating in the lake.
→ Thom Browne and Asics just unveiled a collaboration- grey and black editions in rich suede, white in sleek leather, merging elegance with sport-ready functionality.. Umm finally, luxury sneakers that look like actual sneakers.
→ Burberry’s 170th anniversary campaign ‘The Trench, Portraits of an Icon’ features 23 figures from film, music, sport, and fashion.. Because if you’re going to celebrate a trench coat, you do it properly.
→ Kellanova teamed up with Wendy’s on a Cheez-It inspired by the Baconator burger
→ Blueberries are now the top ingredient consumers associate with brain health, beating matcha and turmeric
→ Plant-based foods and meat alternatives are no longer trending in 2026
That’s it for today.
P.S. If you forwarded this to a friend who’s obsessed with “gut health,” they can subscribe here.
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Business Eye 
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